Tab Mania
Posted: June 13th, 2014 | Author: Tommy Lawlor | Filed under: Philadelphia Eagles | 70 Comments »I haven’t written about the whole dinner check situation yet because it just isn’t a big deal to me. Tonight it did get a bit more entertaining.
Here’s the backstory…about Lane Johnson picking up a big dinner tab.
Was this a form of hazing? After the Dolphins situation last year, this type of thing is more of a sensitive subject. The only problem here is that no one is complaining. All the Eagles players seem happy.
“Everybody who has been drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles has taken the veterans out on a rookie dinner,” Kelce said. “When I was a rookie we went to Barclay Prime. It was me, Danny Watkins, Julian Vandervelde, and I’m not going to get into what that bill was. It was on par with Lane’s, it was pretty close. Danny paid the most because he was the highest draft pick and biggest signing bonus, then me and Julian split the rest of it.
“This is one of the tightest groups I’ve been a part of. Obviously, I’ve had the fortune to work with all of these guys for a full year now. Four of us have been working together for three years now. There’s a lot of really good cohesion right now along the offensive line. then of course there’s all of the guys we drafted or brought in over the last year on this offensive line unit last year all back, so there’s a lot of really great chemistry and it’s a great locker room.
And
For those of you so concerned with MY business, I am grateful to be able to treat my O-line to such a great evening VOLUNTARILY!
— Lane Johnson (@Lanejohnson65) June 8, 2014
Part of that comment comes from criticism that Johnson and the players got for spending so much money on a meal. To me, that is the more interesting angle. Players go broke at far too high a percentage. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the good life, but that money could be pretty darn helpful down the road.
Tonight, Evan Mathis decided to have some fun.
Did he really spend $64,000 on dinner?
Y’all know @EvanMathis69 by now, right? Yet everybody’s gonna take that receipt at face value??
— Les Bowen (@LesBowen) June 13, 2014
Evan Mathis, troll gawd, posts picture of $64,055 dinner bill http://t.co/MYPVkSnsyD
— Brandon Lee Gowton (@BrandonGowton) June 13, 2014
I don’t know what really is going on, but I know Evan is having a lot of fun messing with fans and the media.
Are any of you really fired up about any of this?
The lack of PBR is definitely disturbing to me.
_
Love it.
Evan Mathis is intelligent, self aware, and doesn’t give a F***. Which is highly entertaining.
I hope its real, and I hope Evan picked up the entire thing, just for this moment. I hope his teammates had a blast so he could troll all the idiots out there being idiots.
I don’t even think it’s real… He was probably at Celeks restaurant and told Brent to let him take a pic of a recent outrageous receipt just to screw with the media
I’m starting to wonder if Mathis actually does have an animatronic band that plays Ms. New Booty.
All-pro pranksquad
As an Eagles story, I don’t think it is all that big of a story. Certainly, Lane Johnson didn’t seem to be bothered by it and if anything, the Oline seems to view it as bonding rather than hazing, so I don’t think there is anything really to be worried about.
On the other hand, as an NFL story, I can definitely understand the concern over the story. I love seeing the Cowboys be dysfunctional, but unlike Lane Johnson, Dez Bryant clearly did not find it amusing that he was forced to pay the bill his rookie season. That kind of situation puts a rookie in a very difficult position. On one hand, the NFL wants to teach players to be responsible with their money. On the other hand, when you are being told to pay the bill by all the veterans on the team, not paying it could make things uncomfortable in a locker room. Not every rookie is going to share Lane Johnson’s attitude. Especially after the situation in Miami last season, I can definitely see the NFL being a bit concerned about the potential problems this kind of hazing may create.
If they want something that will help bonding – surely things should be the other way around. The vets should pay for the dinners, with whoever signed the most recent large signing bonus paying the lion’s share.
Rookies should be made to earn it on the field, and welcomed off it. The vets should be telling them to save their money until they get that big signing bonus (ie 2nd contract), because a good portion of these rookies will be out of the league within three years – that’s high character in my book.
Rookies coming in want to be accepted, not rock the boat. This means they can’t complain when vets order drinks at a cost that would feed a third world family for a year. It’s exploitative, sends the wrong message and teams that want to have high character locker-rooms should ban this practice.
That being said… Evan Mathis is – as usual – a hilarious master troll. 😉
Initiation:
1.
the action of admitting someone into a secret or obscure society or group, typically with a ritual.
Yes – but rituals are not neutral, they have and entrench values. To use an extreme example, if a gang initiation requires killing someone – we would agree that’s bad right?
I’m suggesting maintaining a ritual – just flipping it around so it represents (what I think) are better values.
They split the bill and was’t Dez’s bill like $60k. Problem is when people order stuff just to rack the bill. Think Lane just took them to a nice dinner. Can’t believe we’re even talking about it.
i think there is another way of looking at it.
Lane Johnson just got PAID.
if i get a bonus check at work for like $200, you bet your ass i’m taking the lady out for a nice dinner.
if i get more than that, maybe i treat the rest of my family too.
you win the lottery, you bet you will be buying expensive crap for everyone you know!
i don’t see this as any different – a guy just got in on a huge chunk of money, and is happy to share a small portion of that with his friends.
but again, it all comes down to the setup…
if the vets come by and FORCE him to do this against his wishes… not cool. but it can also be seen as a test of character – an adult should be expected to do something like this, but these guys are young. its a way of judging who they are by seeing what they do with their money.
i feel like i’m rambling now so i’m just going to stop talking now.
yeah agree, plus lane’s a second year — spent a year of bonding with these guys. And it seems like a really nice group. Lane also subsidized some of the “junior” members of the group. I can’t believe we’re writing posts on something that’s such a non-issue.
PFT commentators and twitter people make me feel sad for the state of the country.
Tommy – you didn’t respond in the last thread – would PBR taking over the Bills challenge your allegiances?
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2014/06/bills-fandom-gets-87-ironical-with-potential-pabst-ownership-bid.html
I have sworn an oath to the owner of PBR. If he orders me to be a Bills fan, I might have to go.
Non-issue.
I approached this article assuming you had imbibed a large amount of 1980’s carbonated beverage. Maybe you did… keep in mind that younger readers might not understand your double entendre.
More importantly…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJL4yQn_7qQ
I strangely have become very thirsty for some of this TaB Cola. I also feel very bad for the little kid in the background wearing the goggles on his head. He is clearly so thirsty that all he can do is longingly stare at the tab Cola being carried by that selfish woman. (on the freeze frame of the video in the playlist after the first one is finished)
lol what kind of fantasy world is this?
that dude got caught checking the girl out, she dumps water on him, and boom. he is instantly forgiven. then even adds a quick “i’m sorry i dumped water on you” kiss to the end of it, ya know, cause she’s the bad guy here. hahah
Evan Mathis, my troll model.
I thought this was common knowledge. Last year Mychal Kendricks said he dropped 10k on a dinner
I. Don’t think all of the wine and other adult beverage consumption shown on these tabs fits in with Chip’s sports science program. Bottles and bottles of wine and over a thousand dollars a bottle???? That makes the point in my mind regarding taking care of your personal financial situation in case of a rainy day.
Lame
Oh no! Oh, how can life be so cruel?!
When I first read your one word response, “lame,” I thought it was odd that such an informed fan was misspelling Lane’s name. I was going to try to subtly direct you to the correct spelling – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lane_Johnson .
But then, when I saw that you added just a few more words in an edit, I was able to decipher the message. Your hands have been injured in some cruel prank by the gods. This injury has robbed us all of you standard, verbose comments and left you feeling lamed. Obviously, your short cryptic message was typed out using your nose or an exposed patch of skin on your bandaged, immobilized hands.
I am heartened by your positive outlook and inspired that you fought through your pain to reassure the readers that you will “turn the page” before the season begins, and make this a “non-issue.” All of us face challenges on a daily basis, and there is a lesson in this for all of us.
I am proud to be the one to infer the subtext of your message, and in some small way, help this noble effort. I guess that is my gift: reading, understanding the deeper meaning, and empathizing.
Hahaha captain save a hoe….
You do know you are an evil genius, don’t you?
Beau Allen’s arms may be the biggest things I ever seen.. That Mammouth just said he can wake board lol holy hell
He’s from Minnesota, we get like 10 weeks of good weather. Everyone spends them on lakes, not surprising.
When I first saw Lane’s tweet, my thoughts in order:
1)HOLY HELL
2)JESUS MOST OF IT IS BOOZE!(I honestly had no idea restaurants had multiple bottles of $2k+ wine, thought those were reserved for rich people mantles)
3)Hey they only drink Cabernet when it comes to wine, wonder if that’s sports science
4) Hey wait a minute, booze and bannanabread pudding are terrible for athletes, maybe the nutrition thing is way over-blown.
5)….I wanna be rich
I never even thought of the hazing thing until whiners brought it up. It’s really not a big deal. Is it hazing? Ye-n-kinda. Take the newest members of the team that make the least money, and have them pay for the 15 biggest dudes on the team ordering the most expensive things they possibly can, is unlikely just sitting on the rookie’s to do list when he signs his first contract. But it’s done with good intentions rather than older guys just exercising their authority over rookies. But times are a-changing boys, just split the tab, you’re all filthy rich, you can manage.
Meh…Harmless right of passage… I been putt hru this many times, never got out of control, yet maintained long standing traditions..of course I wasn’t paying 20,000 dollar dinners… But “sei la vi”
I agree with you, but this stuff has a way of getting out and becoming a needless distraction. By all means, party on though. No judgement here.
Meh,,,chip and Howie seem to not mind.. So party on Wayne
Honestly you’re better off doing it than not doing. And in some places it’s cultural that young people pay for old people. Best way to get your boss to like you is to pay for a ice dinner once in a while just b/c.
I thought the best way to get my boss to like me was with my winning smile and rapier like wit.
Thought the best way to get my boss to like me was to have my way with his daughter…. Probably should have thought it thru lol
Buying the table a round of Remy ($225 per oz) should be enough imo. I think the dinner is a great idea though. But, I’m not filthy rich, so who am I to judge what’s excessive.
@AdamSchefter:
Not a single person out of the thousands of RTs saw it cracked the code. ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS-ROSHAMBO. Best bill ever
https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/477428630599892992
So now these bullies are making the rookies buy $12 vegetables and $3500 bottles of wine just to spell words on the receipt? This is spiraling out of control!
Next, we are going to find out that Shady kicked that girl off the tour bus the other year because she lost at the alphabet game.
I find it hard to believe Mathis didn’t tell Schefter. He just doesn’t seem that sharp.
His subsequent tweet showed the “receipt” is actually a folded over piece of paper. The “table cloth” is a napkin in his kitchen. Whole thing was fake.
https://twitter.com/EvanMathis69/status/477429125859131396
Wooow. He spent way more time on this than I ever expected. I don’t think I could put that much effort into a prank… I know I am an inferior man.
It’s making Mike Florio throw an absolute hissy fit. I love it.
I quote you from Birds 24/7, so everyone can see what a sad, sad writer Florio is:
and thus, the internet collectively gave Mathis a high-five. So epic.
I love Mathis being like, maybe you should have called or DM’ed me for comment like a real journalist, and Florio freaking out at the notion of having to do actual work and not spreading fake speculation.
Mathis replied to him? Lol. Where can I find that? Twitter?
omg. i really want to see that.
Yea it was on my twitter timeline this morning. Florio comes out looking like a massive crybaby.
Looked at his timeline, didn’t find it. But Google helped me. For all who are interested:
http://www.crossingbroad.com/2014/06/mike-florio-reaches-previously-unseen-level-of-butthurtedness-over-evan-mathis-prank.html
Damn, this guy rocks. Not only on the field (that I knew).
Loved this one.
In reference to Florio.
You make money to spend it. Let the kids have some fun–I’m sure Lane’s wife is more pissed off than any of us.
So much credit to whoever first decoded that receipt. I am guessing it wasn’t actually Schefter. I don’t think I’d have ever seen that. Brilliant.
Also, make sure to pay attention to the table cloth in Mathis’s original tweet. Schefter’s is too zoomed in to see it.
The table cloth is his t shirt,,, he put a fork and crumbs on it! Lol… The fridge is in the background
Exactly.
ROSHAMBO
Haahahaha Mathis won the internet last night. I love some of the comments he retweeted too. Brilliant
The only thing crazy about that tab is that all of the money is basically drinks.
One thing does make me upset though: Over $5,000 in taxes… and yet next years budget turns out to be over 1B further in the red than expected. You have failed us Uncle Sam. At least the Eagles are doing their part to solve the problem.
I really wish I could downvote this comment more than just the once.
I now want to see a tweeted picture of a McDonald’s tab for $32.97.
waste of my time. Only person does the judging and it’s not you or me….
Judge Judy?
Bingo 🙂
Who made you Judge Judy and Executioner?
It actually is me. I’m judging you right now for this worthless post.
Let me check .. my “I don’t give a shit what you think” watch is pointing to mksp.
To all the people who want a kicker who can kick it from 50+, what’s wrong with going for it on 4th? Are you Lebron James?
https://twitter.com/FakeWIPCaller/status/475022902757441536
I think we sometimes lose sight of just how much more money players make than the average person. That $17,000+ bill is the equivalent of a $200 meal for the average American. Expensive, to be sure, but nothing unreasonable for a special occasion with a bunch of guys in attendance.
That is the exact amount I figured. Up vote.
So lame that the media passes this as news…
…
15 different eagles website, all talking about a joke… As if we aren’t about o go on a 6 week break before camp, and this is what we talk about on one of the last few days of action?? Lame,.. Even lamer that you all got PUNKED over a joke,,,
…
Instead of talking about Nolan Carroll’s comments, beaus or Fletcher’s, a day and a half talking about a fake receipt… Catch Yous next time there is a football post
..
Hope Mathis and Lane start slapping peasants with their check books!!!
Anyone else going to rite house square to BBQ with Kelce?
These silly stories always get too much traction during the off-season.
I find this very disturbing. Roshambo is truly not acceptable in any workplace.