Game Preview – SF at PHI

Posted: October 29th, 2017 | Author: | Filed under: Philadelphia Eagles | 84 Comments »

Winless teams scare the heck out of me. You know they are going to win at some point and you don’t want that to be against you. SF comes into Philly with an 0-7 record, but this isn’t a team to take lightly. In 5 of 7 games, they have been highly competitive. They just haven’t been good enough to finish a game.

The stats aren’t pretty. They are 25th in scoring and 30th in points allowed. They are 20th in yards gained and 28th in yards allowed.

QB C.J. Beathard will be making his second start. He has shown some promise, but isn’t special physically. You might think of him as a poor man’s Kirk Cousins. Before you think that is a major insult, it really isn’t. Cousins has developed into a solid, if not good, starter. It took him a while to do that. Beathard needs to do all the little things right and he just doesn’t have the experience to do that right now.

RT Trent Brown will likely miss the game, which doesn’t help their offense. The OL isn’t strong on the inside and that means Fletcher Cox and the DTs could be collapsing the pocket on a regular basis. Brandon Graham will be shooting off the edge and giving the RT fits. Beathard is going to have to handle pressure well.

The Eagles faced Kyle Shanahan’s offense last year when he was the OC for the Falcons and the Eagles won that game 24-15. They should have a good feel for what he wants to do. Beyond that, it is similar to what the Skins do and the Eagles just faced them so that could help a bit.

The skill players are okay. Rookie TE George Kittle has shown good potential. Marquise Goodwin is the WR with speed and Pierre Garcon is the guy who moves the chains. Carlos Hyde is a talented RB. No real difference makers, but some talent.

I’m curious to see how the Eagles offense is going to attack the Niners. They are 30th in run defense so it would be tempting to feed the RBs. SF struggles with pass defense as well so there is an argument to going after them in the air.

The big X-factor is going to be the rain. That can favor the passing game, because WRs know where they are going and DBs have to react. The split second delay the rain causes can help receivers get open. But the QB has to throw a wet football and receivers have wet, slick hands when they try to make catches. That complicates things.

The Niners have a pair of talented Safeties in Jaquiski Tartt and Jimmie Ward. They moved Eric Reid from S to LB because the other guys were playing so well. The CBs are a weak spot.

I’m curious to see highly touted rookies DE Solomon Thomas and LB Reuben Foster. They have big time potential. Halapoulivaati Vaitai will face Thomas on a regular basis and it will be interesting to see who wins that matchup.

Screen passes have been very effective against SF the last couple of weeks. I’d love to see Wendell Smallwood get some throws and get a chance to show what he can do against them on screens.

PR Trent Taylor is a guy to watch on STs.

*****

I wrote a piece for PE.com that previewed the game and also took a look at Doug Pederson. He’s done a heckuva job this year. Sunday’s game looks easy on the surface, but it actually provides some interesting challenges. It will be interesting to see how the Eagles respond. Pederson has pushed all the right buttons so far this year. Can he keep that up?

_


84 Comments on “Game Preview – SF at PHI”

  1. 1 Mike Scott said at 12:34 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I hope we’ll look back and wonder why there was any doubt in our minds.

  2. 2 CrackSammich said at 1:25 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I’ve posted before that I have a pretty weak personal connection to Solomon Thomas on here, but I’ve been following the kid since high school and generally watch him specifically because of it in the few times I’ve watched the Niners this season. He’s been buried on the depth chart up until recently, and that’s only due to injuries. Stout against the run, but doesn’t do much in the pass rush game yet. I think eventually, Vinny Curry will be the poor man’s Soloman Thomas, but I don’t think he’s anywhere near his potential yet. Young and needs some weight room time. I think against Peters, he’d get his ass kicked. It could be interesting versus Vaitai.

    And I was under the impression that Reuben Foster was banged up?

  3. 3 Guy Media said at 8:12 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I was hoping those “Solomon Thomas is falling” rumors were true on draft day. I would have loved the dude to have been there at our pick. He was an amazing prospect and I’m sure he’ll come around.

  4. 4 CrackSammich said at 2:00 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Sam Darnold is a seriously goofy looking dude, which is saying something considering how Wentz and Foles look.

  5. 5 Insomniac said at 6:05 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    It’s because he’s a ginger isn’t it.

  6. 6 Ark87 said at 11:08 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    And Andrew Luck. It’s a golden age for goofy looking dudes in the NFL

  7. 7 Masked Man said at 4:24 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I have no doubt about an Eagles win. Just trying to figure out if the score will be 34-17, or more like 24-13 due to rainy weather conditions.

    This should be a “stick to basics” game for the Eagles. Ball control offense. Move the chains. Score the ball. Then do it all over again. Like the directions on the shampoo bottle: “Lather, Rinse, Repeat.”

    Doug Pederson has been showing out big time with what you could call “situational coaching.” He has a good feel for the ebbs and flows of the season and the schedule, the opponents and the match ups. I’m sure Dougie will be coaching this as a “steady as she goes” type of outing saying: “Let’s do what works. Let’s keep this ball rolling!”

    If the Niners score first somehow or get a lead, it would be interesting to see the team play with cool heads and play back into the game. If the Eagles go up first, it will be interesting to see them pace themselves and not let the Niners play their way back into a competitive game.

    Should be a fun outing today. Go Eagles!

  8. 8 meteorologist said at 7:48 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    http://fb.me/MEBtvs5E

    I swear if the NFL ends before we win a Super Bowl with Carson Wentz…

  9. 9 Guy Media said at 8:13 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Jerry is going to be double mad when Goodell owns Zeke in court on Monday.

  10. 10 Julescat said at 8:15 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Jones is right. Goodell has screwed up everything he has touched.

  11. 11 Guy Media said at 8:25 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Other than not suspending enough guys for enough time due to poor off the field behavior, I don’t know what another commissioner would be able to do better. Reactionary imbicile owners like Jerry Richardson caused all of the animosity in the last CBA settlement, so I think Goodell is stuck in some situations of the owners causation that another commissioner isn’t going to fix.

  12. 12 Gary Barnes said at 8:56 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Goodell is merely a reflection of what the owners, especially Jones, want in their commish – take all the bullets/heat for them and make sure the cash register keeps ringing 24/7/365.

    Jones is a scumbag hypocrite of the highest order.

  13. 13 Guy Media said at 8:59 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Jones, like other REMF types ( https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/REMF ) , seems to have all kinds of embarrassing views.

  14. 14 Gary Barnes said at 9:01 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    LMAO! Never heard that acronym before, priceless. It is a perfect definition for Jones.

  15. 15 Guy Media said at 9:03 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    It applies to a good number of people who want to take up the mantle of patriotism, but have only ever served themselves.

  16. 16 Forthebirds said at 9:54 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Like a certain president who got a deferment for a bone spur in his foot.

  17. 17 Julescat said at 9:22 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    but the cash register isn’t ringing as much

    they need a strong commissioner. Goodell isn’t strong!

  18. 18 Guy Media said at 9:24 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I’ll bite; what would be good indicators of strength from a commissioner?

    I’d like to see more / longer suspensions for criminal behavior by players. I’d also like to get better games on national broadcasts and the direct ticket plan opened up to all platforms. Finally, I’d like to see a full developmental league of 8 teams to get O line and QB play improved as read-option / spread need to DIE an immediate death.

  19. 19 Julescat said at 9:45 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    the next commissioner needs a better relationship with the union. In fact have the union handle discipline. This way the next public crime committed by a player is on the union to take on public outcry. Let the media decide if they will attack a union. not likely.

    the next commissioner should take on the mantra that the NFL is about football only. The NFL has no political interests one way or another. If you turn on a game you see football only.

    Also get rid of the metrosexual halftime shows at the super bowl. Remember – football only!

  20. 20 A_T_G said at 11:45 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Task the organization responsible for representing players with disciplining them? Brilliant.

    We should probably also task defense attorneys with deciding prison terms. If the guy commits another crime, let the attorney take the heat, right? That’ll show ’em.

  21. 21 Julescat said at 12:58 PM on October 29th, 2017:

    this saves a whole step in the commissioner suspending and the union fighting to reduce the suspension. let the union decide and handle the media backlash

  22. 22 Sean E said at 10:10 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Goodell isn’t half as bad as people act

  23. 23 A_T_G said at 7:50 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Okay guys, fantasy advice:

    Amari Cooper against BUF, but coming off his 1st great game of season
    Nelson Agholor vs SF and the monsoon but TD three weeks running
    Den Bryant vs WAS and Josh Norman likely rain
    Will Fuller with 5 TDs in 3 weeks, but limited targets

    Michael Thomas vs CHI indoors is a safe pick, so pick two of the other guys to go with him.

  24. 24 Allen3000 said at 8:11 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Tough choice, but I’d go Cooper and then a toss up between ‘Den’ Bryant and Will Fuller. Probably a slight edge to Fuller.

  25. 25 meteorologist said at 9:05 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Cooper is a no brainer

  26. 26 Guy Media said at 9:06 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Yup; he’s a WR1 that you play no matter what.

  27. 27 A_T_G said at 9:15 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    He had 51 yards total in the 4 games before last week and 146 for the season. He has been my biggest disappointment.

    That said, he is in the lineup right now.

  28. 28 Guy Media said at 9:21 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    No doubt he’s been a turd for far too many weeks, but you still have to ride with him.

  29. 29 Sean E said at 10:10 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Don’t trust Cooper. You heard it here.

  30. 30 Allen3000 said at 8:09 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Off topic, but still a little disturbed by last night’s loss (PSU). It was a team loss, but cannot believe how terrible the offense was down the stretch. They reminded me of Chip Kelly’s teams – unable to adapt and play smart situational football. Moorehead/Franklin are becoming too stubborn and reliant on their system and as a result, you leave the door wide open for quick comebacks. Although Barkley is having a phenomenal year, they are terribly mismanaging him in the running game – eerily similar to how DeMarco Murray was used here in Philly.

    I get that it’s a bit disingenuous to fault the offense when the defense was absolutely dreadful – just wanted to highlight how similar the problems on offense are to what we experienced here with Chip Kelly.

  31. 31 Guy Media said at 8:13 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I’m very disturbed by that loss. Completely gutless.

  32. 32 Allen3000 said at 8:22 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    It was, but I think we lose that game 9 times outta 10. They just flat-out dominated the LOS on both sides of the ball and our secondary was completely lost and gassed.

  33. 33 Guy Media said at 8:23 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Yeah, really lazy blocking, d-line play, focus on coverage etc. Totally correct about how bad they were at what you mentioned, but I expect them to be better at it.

  34. 34 Allen3000 said at 8:30 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Sucks they had to deal with injuries on both sides of the Line, but that was a pretty uninspiring performance. The lead and implications of the end result should have been motivating enough, but they just weren’t up for the challenge. I honestly thought our defense was much, much more talented than what they showed yesterday. Pretty disheartening all-around and will be a tough one to get over.

  35. 35 Guy Media said at 8:33 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    “but they just weren’t up for the challenge.”

    Truth. There had better be a ton of soul searching and doubling down on every effort possible. It isn’t often you’re able to start a season 7-0 and have a route in progress vs. a hated rival with a despicable fan base. Especially when that rival won’t mind it’s own fucking business and stay in it’s own putrid state for recruiting. Bad loss for so many reasons.

  36. 36 meteorologist said at 8:21 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    The offense was terrible all game except a couple fluke plays. I’m not mad at all OSU was better and deserved to win

    Also Saquon NEEDS to start taking “no gain”s instead of dancing for big losses

  37. 37 Guy Media said at 8:22 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    That undercuts the idea that I hate Ohio State

  38. 38 Allen3000 said at 8:27 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Agreed. But you simply can’t give up a lead that late in the game like that. There is no way a team with weapons PSU has, should be completely lifeless in crunch time. They had so many breaks that went their way and had a golden opportunity to steal one, but….just gave a terrible effort in the end.

    I just can’t understand why they can’t incorporate some power running game concepts when you have arguably the most dynamic RB in all of CFB.

    Also, what happened to the slants? If were getting killed on the OL then we need to draw up more 3 step passing plays with an extra blocker.

  39. 39 A_T_G said at 9:10 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    That kind of decision making is a terrible sign for his future and should definitely knock him down to the very end of the first round. Spread the word.

  40. 40 HawaiianEagle said at 11:06 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Isn’t that one of the major contributing factors that eventually led to Shady being traded to Buffalo? That and Chip’s ineptitude…

  41. 41 Guy Media said at 8:11 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Ok Eagles, let’s not shit the bed like Penn State did yesterday. I can’t stomach gutless, unfocused, soft ass play with both of my teams over the weekend.

    And no rain excuses, it rains on both sides of the field.

  42. 42 T_S_O_P said at 8:26 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I’m thinking we have to make ir seven ‘n one in honor of 71

  43. 43 Guy Media said at 8:26 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Can we make it 15-1 in honor of 151 rum?

  44. 44 T_S_O_P said at 8:41 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    For sure 🙂

  45. 45 A_T_G said at 9:08 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Only if we follow it up with 3-0 in honor of Corey Clement, the scrub RB who finally accomplished what we wanted for Josey, Tucker, et.al.

  46. 46 Guy Media said at 9:10 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Ha; but Clement was cut for a lesser talent to remain on the 53, so that doesn’t totally work.

    But if you’d like to find a way to work drinking a 40 into the theme, I’m down.

  47. 47 A_T_G said at 9:29 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I tried for the 40 reference, but that supposes we play the first round of the playoffs. That isn’t happening.

  48. 48 Guy Media said at 8:45 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    As much as I’d be upset with a loss today, it wouldn’t be overly critical IF they come back and beat both Denver and Dallas. Out of the next 4, 3-1 is perfectly fine as long as they take care of business in Dallas. And 3-2 is totally fine in the 5 after last as long as NYG and Dallas (as long as playoff positioning isn’t already locked in rendering the game’s result moot) are wins as well.

    Calling for 12-4 seems pretty greedy given how I viewed this team to start the year, but there is business to be taken care of in this division that must be done.

  49. 49 GermanEagle said at 9:13 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Re-watching the Eagles vs 49ers wildcard game from 1996 was a great preview of what’s to expect today.

    Heavy rain – wind gusts up to 60mph – mainly run plays – short passes – missed FGs – short punts – sliding players

    It will be fun, guys!

  50. 50 Guy Media said at 9:14 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    No; the Eagles didn’t win that game. I’d prefer this type of result.

    https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/199410020sfo.htm

    No weather excuses!

  51. 51 GermanEagle said at 9:23 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I would be totally happy if they’d flip the final score this time:

    A. We want a shutout
    B. The Eagles would cover the spread.

  52. 52 Guy Media said at 9:25 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    That works! Big kicking game from Elliot and the Eagles D for my fantasy team would be helpful.

  53. 53 GermanEagle said at 10:42 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Dude

    I hope you are not starting the Eagles kicker in these weather conditions! Might wanna re-watch Gary Anderson against the Niners in 1996.

  54. 54 FairOaks said at 10:54 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Pretty sure the 49ers QB was better then.

    (Also, don’t think the heavy winds are supposed to start until well after the game.)

  55. 55 Guy Media said at 9:20 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Today’s rooting interests:
    Vikings over Browns – took Vikings in suicide pool
    Raiders over Bills – FU McDermott
    Bengals over Colts – Colts continuing to lose is funny because they’ll blow it with a top pick
    Patriots over Chargers – I don’t like the Patriots per se, but they’re an important impediment to Pittsburgh winning any more undeserved titles
    Saints over Bears – I need some fantasy stats from Ted Ginn!
    Jets over Falcons – Go Todd Bowles!
    Bucs over Panthers – FU Cam
    Seahawks over Texans – Seattle is my second choice NFC team after the Eagles
    Washington over Dallas – time for a massive losing streak out of fraud Dak
    Lions over Steelers – FU Pittsburgh. Steelers suck, Penguins suck, Pitt sucks, Pittsburgh fans suck.
    Chiefs over Broncos – Go Andy!

  56. 56 Julescat said at 9:49 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    people on the east coast like Seattle?

  57. 57 Masked Man said at 12:01 PM on October 29th, 2017:

    No.

  58. 58 Sean E said at 10:12 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Please don’t root for Seattle.

  59. 59 RC5000 said at 10:31 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    It’s better for Eagles for Seattle, Vikings, Lions., Saints to lose.

  60. 60 GermanEagle said at 10:40 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Ah got you. Rooting for the Vikings was betting driven!!

  61. 61 A_T_G said at 11:32 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Also makes sure the Browns pick before the Giants.

  62. 62 GermanEagle said at 11:36 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I’d rather take the 1st round bye.

  63. 63 A_T_G said at 11:47 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    You think the Vikings will prevent that?

  64. 64 A_T_G said at 12:01 PM on October 29th, 2017:

    Okay, I wrote them off when they lost their RB and QB, but they do keep winning, don’t they?

  65. 65 RC5000 said at 12:54 PM on October 29th, 2017:

    Browns will eff it up anyhow.

  66. 66 kajomo said at 11:37 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I’m Eagles first above all else. I root against all threats to our #1 seed

  67. 67 Guy Media said at 9:22 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Vikings win at 9:30, Eagles win at 1, Seattle win a 4, Detroit win at 8; should be a great 14 to 15 hours of football today!

  68. 68 RC5000 said at 10:27 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Weird unless you’re betting, for the Eagles , we want Minnesota 5-2 to lose to Cleveland, Seattle 4-2 to lose to Houston, and Detroit 3-3 to lose to Pittsburgh.

  69. 69 Duracell said at 11:31 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    We never want Pittsburgh to win.

  70. 70 GermanEagle said at 10:40 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Why on Earth are you rooting for the Vikings? Don’t you want a 1st round bye?!

  71. 71 Sean E said at 10:08 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I’ve heard that it’s wind and cold, more than snow/rain, that make the game harder to play.

  72. 72 Ark87 said at 11:03 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    For throws and kicks (and satellite TV), it definitely can be. But if the snow/rain is severe enough, it can really kill the field condition, sap the speed and quickness out of the game and give you and old school slog.

  73. 73 RC5000 said at 10:49 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Treggs is on the Browns, huh…he lost a fumble today.

  74. 74 Fufina said at 10:57 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    I mean wait what?

    50% of me is this is the best idea ever – i LOVE Megatron, and the idea of seeing him in midnight green would make me giddy. Imagine if it actually worked as a move.

    50% of me is like this is total bullshit, we have neither the cap or picks to be making a move like this, he has been retired what 2 years? Doesn’t know the playbook, doesn’t have Wentz chemistry – even if they did it it wouldn’t probably work.

  75. 75 Ark87 said at 11:34 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Yep, I think he is only 50% in love with football as well. Cool to dream about, like he got healthy, then started training for 1 last shot at a superbowl, but doubt he would have any business with the Eagles on gameday

  76. 76 Fufina said at 11:38 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    He is the most dominant WR i have ever seen play in the NFL. I saw teams triple cover him on 3rd down and he would still get the 1st down. Johnson at 50% effort is still better than 75% of the WR’s in the NFL even at 32.

  77. 77 Ark87 said at 11:51 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    He wasn’t the same guy those last years, but maybe that was injuries

  78. 78 FairOaks said at 10:57 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    Vaguely interesting, but … WR does not seem to be an issue right now with the Eagles.

  79. 79 SteveH said at 11:49 AM on October 29th, 2017:

    lol, this is the most 100000000 to 1 longshot but what the hell.

    https://www.bleedinggreennation.com/2017/10/29/16566784/calvin-johnson-trade-rumors-nfl-wide-receiver-eagles-plane-philadelphia-lions-detroit-retired

  80. 80 A_T_G said at 12:06 PM on October 29th, 2017:

    TD in Vikings game: a guy jumping to catch the ball just inside the OOB line then tapping his feet. The defender tries to reach around his body to knock the ball loose.

    This is a common occurrence. Why don’t defenders just carry the guy out of bounds? It doesn’t seem hard or particularly clever.

  81. 81 A_T_G said at 12:13 PM on October 29th, 2017:

    No Darby today officially, according to the NFL Mobile app.

  82. 82 A_T_G said at 12:24 PM on October 29th, 2017:

    “They are 30th in run defense so it would be tempting to feed the RBs. SF struggles with pass defense as well so there is an argument to going after them in the air.”

    That is pretty damning right there.

  83. 83 SteveH said at 12:25 PM on October 29th, 2017:

    They’re bad against the pass, so it might be tempting to get away from the run. Also, they’re bad against the run, so it might be tempting to get away from the passing game.

  84. 84 Dragon_Eagle said at 12:47 PM on October 29th, 2017:

    Your week 8 rooting guide. You’re welcome.

    So we get a 1 PM game against a winless team, that is still recovering from the outstanding coaching of Chip Kelly. Bring your swim gear as the contest shall take place in the middle of Midwestern thunder storm fornicating with a tropical hurricane to beget a late Fall Nor’easter. Get your kayaks ready, fun.

    Vikings (5-2) v Browns (0-7). Browns. This was a lost cause even before I started writing this but its currently 30-16 Vikings. But it does mean the Browns remain on track for the #1 pick in the draft which they can use to fleece the Giants for a king’s ransom in draft picks so the Giants can get the next Johnny Football – that’s the plan.

    Falcons (3-3) v NYJets (3-4). Jets! Jets! Jets! Falcons may be struggling a bit, but if they get their act together, they are still very, very dangerous. Besides, the Jets are the anti-Patriots*. How can you not root for that?

    Panthers (4-3) v. Bucs (2-4). Bucs, I guess. Let that whole division sink into mediocrity.

    Bears (3-4) v. Saints (4-2). Bears. Can the Bears actually help us out two weeks in a row? Seems thoroughly implausible especially down at the Dome. If the Bears keep winning though, give John Fox some credit.

    Chargers (3-4) v. Patriots* (4-2). Chargers. The homeless versus the Evil Empire that cheats.

    Raiders (3-4) v. Bills (4-2). Bills. First, the Bills might challenge the evil empire and therefore deserve our support based on that alone. Second, Coach Opie Cunningham was once lovingly run out of town here. So, we like him when he’s elsewhere. Third, we want the Raiders playing for 2018 when they visit us. Let them pile up the losses and be out of the playoffs for our December tilt in Philly.

    Colts (2-5) v. Bengals (2-5). Bengals. When did the Colts when two games? How? They need to lose, clear house, and take the better coaches, GMs and draft picks away from our division rivals. Its on you Indianapolis to stop winning and suck like yer s’pposed to. Idiots.

    Texans (3-3) v. Seahawks (4-2). Texans, obviously. Seattle should go back to sleep and stay there. Hibernate right through the winter, in fact.

    Cowboys (3-3) v. Racists (3-3). Washington. We have the tiebreaker on Washington and its Dallas. Fuck Dallas.

    Steelers (5-2) v. Lions (3-3). Steelers. Lions haven’t sucked far enough yet so, begrudgingly, we have to root for a Lions loss to Pittsburgh. Be sure to wash your hands thoroughly afterwards.

    Broncos (3-3) v. Chiefs (5-2). Chiefs. Tough call actually. I’m trying to figure out what will make Denver less mentally prepared for us next week. A demoralizing loss that continues their losing streak? Or a huge emotional win leading to a let down on the road? So, screw it, pull for Big Red and let him show Dougie how to beat them silly.

    Giants (1-6) v. Bye Week. Bye Week. NY needs more distractions. Somebody make sure DRC and OBJ are fully involved in day-to-day activities up there.

    The 2017 Rule Book. If you can’t remember all that above, the general guidelines are as follows in order of importance.

    1) GO EAGLES!

    1a) Dallas sucks.

    2) Division rivals must not win, except in rare instances. E.g. facing each other with one of them threatening to make the playoffs.

    3) Down with the rest of the NFC.

    4) The Patriots cheat; AND

    5) Steelers fans do not deserve anything good to happen to them ever again.