Tab Mania

Posted: June 13th, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Philadelphia Eagles | 70 Comments »

I haven’t written about the whole dinner check situation yet because it just isn’t a big deal to me. Tonight it did get a bit more entertaining.

Here’s the backstory…about Lane Johnson picking up a big dinner tab.

Was this a form of hazing? After the Dolphins situation last year, this type of thing is more of a sensitive subject. The only problem here is that no one is complaining. All the Eagles players seem happy.

“Everybody who has been drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles has taken the veterans out on a rookie dinner,” Kelce said. “When I was a rookie we went to Barclay Prime. It was me, Danny Watkins, Julian Vandervelde, and I’m not going to get into what that bill was. It was on par with Lane’s, it was pretty close. Danny paid the most because he was the highest draft pick and biggest signing bonus, then me and Julian split the rest of it.

“This is one of the tightest groups I’ve been a part of. Obviously, I’ve had the fortune to work with all of these guys for a full year now. Four of us have been working together for three years now. There’s a lot of really good cohesion right now along the offensive line. then of course there’s all of the guys we drafted or brought in over the last year on this offensive line unit last year all back, so there’s a lot of really great chemistry and it’s a great locker room.


Part of that comment comes from criticism that Johnson and the players got for spending so much money on a meal. To me, that is the more interesting angle. Players go broke at far too high a percentage. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the good life, but that money could be pretty darn helpful down the road.

Tonight, Evan Mathis decided to have some fun.

Did he really spend $64,000 on dinner?

I don’t know what really is going on, but I know Evan is having a lot of fun messing with fans and the media.

Are any of you really fired up about any of this?

The lack of PBR is definitely disturbing to me.


70 Comments on “Tab Mania”

  1. 1 mksp said at 12:10 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Love it.

    Evan Mathis is intelligent, self aware, and doesn’t give a F***. Which is highly entertaining.

    I hope its real, and I hope Evan picked up the entire thing, just for this moment. I hope his teammates had a blast so he could troll all the idiots out there being idiots.

  2. 2 GEAGLE said at 8:39 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I don’t even think it’s real… He was probably at Celeks restaurant and told Brent to let him take a pic of a recent outrageous receipt just to screw with the media

  3. 3 Mike Cappelli said at 12:26 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I’m starting to wonder if Mathis actually does have an animatronic band that plays Ms. New Booty.
    All-pro pranksquad

  4. 4 Iskar36 said at 12:53 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    As an Eagles story, I don’t think it is all that big of a story. Certainly, Lane Johnson didn’t seem to be bothered by it and if anything, the Oline seems to view it as bonding rather than hazing, so I don’t think there is anything really to be worried about.

    On the other hand, as an NFL story, I can definitely understand the concern over the story. I love seeing the Cowboys be dysfunctional, but unlike Lane Johnson, Dez Bryant clearly did not find it amusing that he was forced to pay the bill his rookie season. That kind of situation puts a rookie in a very difficult position. On one hand, the NFL wants to teach players to be responsible with their money. On the other hand, when you are being told to pay the bill by all the veterans on the team, not paying it could make things uncomfortable in a locker room. Not every rookie is going to share Lane Johnson’s attitude. Especially after the situation in Miami last season, I can definitely see the NFL being a bit concerned about the potential problems this kind of hazing may create.

  5. 5 JakFTW said at 1:27 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    If they want something that will help bonding – surely things should be the other way around. The vets should pay for the dinners, with whoever signed the most recent large signing bonus paying the lion’s share.

    Rookies should be made to earn it on the field, and welcomed off it. The vets should be telling them to save their money until they get that big signing bonus (ie 2nd contract), because a good portion of these rookies will be out of the league within three years – that’s high character in my book.

    Rookies coming in want to be accepted, not rock the boat. This means they can’t complain when vets order drinks at a cost that would feed a third world family for a year. It’s exploitative, sends the wrong message and teams that want to have high character locker-rooms should ban this practice.

  6. 6 JakFTW said at 1:28 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    That being said… Evan Mathis is – as usual – a hilarious master troll. 😉

  7. 7 Tumtum said at 9:31 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    the action of admitting someone into a secret or obscure society or group, typically with a ritual.

  8. 8 JakFTW said at 9:05 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    Yes – but rituals are not neutral, they have and entrench values. To use an extreme example, if a gang initiation requires killing someone – we would agree that’s bad right?

    I’m suggesting maintaining a ritual – just flipping it around so it represents (what I think) are better values.

  9. 9 anon said at 8:53 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    They split the bill and was’t Dez’s bill like $60k. Problem is when people order stuff just to rack the bill. Think Lane just took them to a nice dinner. Can’t believe we’re even talking about it.

  10. 10 RogerPodacter said at 12:55 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    i think there is another way of looking at it.
    Lane Johnson just got PAID.
    if i get a bonus check at work for like $200, you bet your ass i’m taking the lady out for a nice dinner.
    if i get more than that, maybe i treat the rest of my family too.
    you win the lottery, you bet you will be buying expensive crap for everyone you know!

    i don’t see this as any different – a guy just got in on a huge chunk of money, and is happy to share a small portion of that with his friends.

    but again, it all comes down to the setup…
    if the vets come by and FORCE him to do this against his wishes… not cool. but it can also be seen as a test of character – an adult should be expected to do something like this, but these guys are young. its a way of judging who they are by seeing what they do with their money.

    i feel like i’m rambling now so i’m just going to stop talking now.

  11. 11 anon said at 3:14 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    yeah agree, plus lane’s a second year — spent a year of bonding with these guys. And it seems like a really nice group. Lane also subsidized some of the “junior” members of the group. I can’t believe we’re writing posts on something that’s such a non-issue.

    PFT commentators and twitter people make me feel sad for the state of the country.

  12. 12 JakFTW said at 1:19 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Tommy – you didn’t respond in the last thread – would PBR taking over the Bills challenge your allegiances?

  13. 13 TommyLawlor said at 7:58 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I have sworn an oath to the owner of PBR. If he orders me to be a Bills fan, I might have to go.

  14. 14 SteveH said at 1:32 AM on June 13th, 2014:


  15. 15 Mac said at 2:14 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I approached this article assuming you had imbibed a large amount of 1980’s carbonated beverage. Maybe you did… keep in mind that younger readers might not understand your double entendre.

  16. 16 TommyLawlor said at 7:59 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    More importantly…

  17. 17 Tumtum said at 9:27 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I strangely have become very thirsty for some of this TaB Cola. I also feel very bad for the little kid in the background wearing the goggles on his head. He is clearly so thirsty that all he can do is longingly stare at the tab Cola being carried by that selfish woman. (on the freeze frame of the video in the playlist after the first one is finished)

  18. 18 RogerPodacter said at 12:57 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    lol what kind of fantasy world is this?
    that dude got caught checking the girl out, she dumps water on him, and boom. he is instantly forgiven. then even adds a quick “i’m sorry i dumped water on you” kiss to the end of it, ya know, cause she’s the bad guy here. hahah

  19. 19 Lewwyn said at 5:17 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Evan Mathis, my troll model.

  20. 20 deshawnbentley said at 5:18 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I thought this was common knowledge. Last year Mychal Kendricks said he dropped 10k on a dinner

  21. 21 GreenBleedin said at 6:10 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I. Don’t think all of the wine and other adult beverage consumption shown on these tabs fits in with Chip’s sports science program. Bottles and bottles of wine and over a thousand dollars a bottle???? That makes the point in my mind regarding taking care of your personal financial situation in case of a rainy day.

  22. 22 GEAGLE said at 7:31 AM on June 13th, 2014:


  23. 23 A_T_G said at 8:02 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Oh no! Oh, how can life be so cruel?!

    When I first read your one word response, “lame,” I thought it was odd that such an informed fan was misspelling Lane’s name. I was going to try to subtly direct you to the correct spelling – .

    But then, when I saw that you added just a few more words in an edit, I was able to decipher the message. Your hands have been injured in some cruel prank by the gods. This injury has robbed us all of you standard, verbose comments and left you feeling lamed. Obviously, your short cryptic message was typed out using your nose or an exposed patch of skin on your bandaged, immobilized hands.

    I am heartened by your positive outlook and inspired that you fought through your pain to reassure the readers that you will “turn the page” before the season begins, and make this a “non-issue.” All of us face challenges on a daily basis, and there is a lesson in this for all of us.

    I am proud to be the one to infer the subtext of your message, and in some small way, help this noble effort. I guess that is my gift: reading, understanding the deeper meaning, and empathizing.

  24. 24 GEAGLE said at 8:16 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Hahaha captain save a hoe….

  25. 25 Tumtum said at 9:23 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    You do know you are an evil genius, don’t you?

  26. 26 GEAGLE said at 8:15 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Beau Allen’s arms may be the biggest things I ever seen.. That Mammouth just said he can wake board lol holy hell

  27. 27 D3FB said at 11:53 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    He’s from Minnesota, we get like 10 weeks of good weather. Everyone spends them on lakes, not surprising.

  28. 28 Ark87 said at 8:30 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    When I first saw Lane’s tweet, my thoughts in order:
    2)JESUS MOST OF IT IS BOOZE!(I honestly had no idea restaurants had multiple bottles of $2k+ wine, thought those were reserved for rich people mantles)
    3)Hey they only drink Cabernet when it comes to wine, wonder if that’s sports science
    4) Hey wait a minute, booze and bannanabread pudding are terrible for athletes, maybe the nutrition thing is way over-blown.
    5)….I wanna be rich

    I never even thought of the hazing thing until whiners brought it up. It’s really not a big deal. Is it hazing? Ye-n-kinda. Take the newest members of the team that make the least money, and have them pay for the 15 biggest dudes on the team ordering the most expensive things they possibly can, is unlikely just sitting on the rookie’s to do list when he signs his first contract. But it’s done with good intentions rather than older guys just exercising their authority over rookies. But times are a-changing boys, just split the tab, you’re all filthy rich, you can manage.

  29. 29 GEAGLE said at 8:37 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Meh…Harmless right of passage… I been putt hru this many times, never got out of control, yet maintained long standing traditions..of course I wasn’t paying 20,000 dollar dinners… But “sei la vi”

  30. 30 Ark87 said at 8:48 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I agree with you, but this stuff has a way of getting out and becoming a needless distraction. By all means, party on though. No judgement here.

  31. 31 GEAGLE said at 11:43 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Meh,,,chip and Howie seem to not mind.. So party on Wayne

  32. 32 anon said at 8:50 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Honestly you’re better off doing it than not doing. And in some places it’s cultural that young people pay for old people. Best way to get your boss to like you is to pay for a ice dinner once in a while just b/c.

  33. 33 Andy124 said at 8:57 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I thought the best way to get my boss to like me was with my winning smile and rapier like wit.

  34. 34 GEAGLE said at 11:42 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Thought the best way to get my boss to like me was to have my way with his daughter…. Probably should have thought it thru lol

  35. 35 Ark87 said at 11:45 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Buying the table a round of Remy ($225 per oz) should be enough imo. I think the dinner is a great idea though. But, I’m not filthy rich, so who am I to judge what’s excessive.

  36. 36 the midatlantic said at 8:37 AM on June 13th, 2014:


    Not a single person out of the thousands of RTs saw it cracked the code. ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS-ROSHAMBO. Best bill ever

  37. 37 A_T_G said at 8:47 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    So now these bullies are making the rookies buy $12 vegetables and $3500 bottles of wine just to spell words on the receipt? This is spiraling out of control!

    Next, we are going to find out that Shady kicked that girl off the tour bus the other year because she lost at the alphabet game.

  38. 38 Tumtum said at 9:21 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I find it hard to believe Mathis didn’t tell Schefter. He just doesn’t seem that sharp.

  39. 39 the midatlantic said at 9:38 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    His subsequent tweet showed the “receipt” is actually a folded over piece of paper. The “table cloth” is a napkin in his kitchen. Whole thing was fake.

  40. 40 Tumtum said at 9:42 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Wooow. He spent way more time on this than I ever expected. I don’t think I could put that much effort into a prank… I know I am an inferior man.

  41. 41 Andy124 said at 10:19 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    It’s making Mike Florio throw an absolute hissy fit. I love it.

  42. 42 Dominik said at 11:05 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I quote you from Birds 24/7, so everyone can see what a sad, sad writer Florio is:

    Good one, Evan. Now grow up.

    Whether it’s lying to one reporter or lying to all of them, the lesson is that no one should listen to
    anything Mathis ever has to say, if he’s going to continue to engage in the pro athlete equivalent of having pizzas delivered to his next-door neighbor.

    That’s hilarious. When you’re 12. Regardless of what
    any players or fans think of the media, the media has a job to do, just like everyone else. What Mathis has been doing is no different than a member of the media standing on the sidelines and shining a laser
    pointer in his eyes as he’s trying to prepare for the snap.That’s also hilarious. When you’re 12.

  43. 43 Ark87 said at 11:49 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    and thus, the internet collectively gave Mathis a high-five. So epic.

  44. 44 D3FB said at 11:50 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I love Mathis being like, maybe you should have called or DM’ed me for comment like a real journalist, and Florio freaking out at the notion of having to do actual work and not spreading fake speculation.

  45. 45 Dominik said at 12:00 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    Mathis replied to him? Lol. Where can I find that? Twitter?

  46. 46 RogerPodacter said at 12:59 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    omg. i really want to see that.

  47. 47 D3FB said at 1:47 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    Yea it was on my twitter timeline this morning. Florio comes out looking like a massive crybaby.

  48. 48 Dominik said at 2:09 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    Looked at his timeline, didn’t find it. But Google helped me. For all who are interested:

    Hey Florio, the lesson was to not jump to conclusions with little to no info like your site did with Lane’s tweet.

    Damn, this guy rocks. Not only on the field (that I knew).

  49. 49 Andy124 said at 2:21 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    Loved this one.

    "So if I find something without context I have to follow-up?" "Yes." "Every time?" "Yes." "That sounds hard, I'm gonna do something else."— Noah Becker (@Noah_Becker) June 13, 2014

    In reference to Florio.

  50. 50 CrackSammich said at 8:44 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    You make money to spend it. Let the kids have some fun–I’m sure Lane’s wife is more pissed off than any of us.

  51. 51 Andy124 said at 9:01 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    So much credit to whoever first decoded that receipt. I am guessing it wasn’t actually Schefter. I don’t think I’d have ever seen that. Brilliant.

    Also, make sure to pay attention to the table cloth in Mathis’s original tweet. Schefter’s is too zoomed in to see it.

  52. 52 GEAGLE said at 11:34 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    The table cloth is his t shirt,,, he put a fork and crumbs on it! Lol… The fridge is in the background

  53. 53 Andy124 said at 1:23 PM on June 13th, 2014:


  54. 54 theycallmerob said at 9:16 AM on June 13th, 2014:


    Haahahaha Mathis won the internet last night. I love some of the comments he retweeted too. Brilliant

  55. 55 Tumtum said at 9:18 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    The only thing crazy about that tab is that all of the money is basically drinks.

    One thing does make me upset though: Over $5,000 in taxes… and yet next years budget turns out to be over 1B further in the red than expected. You have failed us Uncle Sam. At least the Eagles are doing their part to solve the problem.

  56. 56 Sean said at 10:29 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I really wish I could downvote this comment more than just the once.

  57. 57 Daniel Norman Richwine said at 9:30 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I now want to see a tweeted picture of a McDonald’s tab for $32.97.

  58. 58 eagleyankfan said at 9:49 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    waste of my time. Only person does the judging and it’s not you or me….

  59. 59 Andy124 said at 9:51 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Judge Judy?

  60. 60 eagleyankfan said at 9:53 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Bingo 🙂

  61. 61 Bert's Bells said at 10:53 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Who made you Judge Judy and Executioner?

  62. 62 mksp said at 9:52 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    It actually is me. I’m judging you right now for this worthless post.

  63. 63 eagleyankfan said at 9:55 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Let me check .. my “I don’t give a shit what you think” watch is pointing to mksp.

  64. 64 Neil said at 10:01 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    To all the people who want a kicker who can kick it from 50+, what’s wrong with going for it on 4th? Are you Lebron James?

  65. 65 Sean said at 10:28 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    I think we sometimes lose sight of just how much more money players make than the average person. That $17,000+ bill is the equivalent of a $200 meal for the average American. Expensive, to be sure, but nothing unreasonable for a special occasion with a bunch of guys in attendance.

  66. 66 A Roy said at 11:45 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    That is the exact amount I figured. Up vote.

  67. 67 GEAGLE said at 11:37 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    So lame that the media passes this as news…

    15 different eagles website, all talking about a joke… As if we aren’t about o go on a 6 week break before camp, and this is what we talk about on one of the last few days of action?? Lame,.. Even lamer that you all got PUNKED over a joke,,,

    Instead of talking about Nolan Carroll’s comments, beaus or Fletcher’s, a day and a half talking about a fake receipt… Catch Yous next time there is a football post
    Hope Mathis and Lane start slapping peasants with their check books!!!

  68. 68 GEAGLE said at 11:40 AM on June 13th, 2014:

    Anyone else going to rite house square to BBQ with Kelce?

  69. 69 Scott J said at 12:04 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    These silly stories always get too much traction during the off-season.

  70. 70 Miami_Adam said at 12:46 PM on June 13th, 2014:

    I find this very disturbing. Roshambo is truly not acceptable in any workplace.